Right Angling - Fictional Fishing Headquarters
While fishing in very heavy fog (like pea soup),
Marc Jones of Bedford Parc
(Parc and Marc strange isn’t it, yeah I checked the spelling)
claimed to have caught a fish up in the dense condensation
above the water of his favorite pond.Predictions of the size
of bass he was about to land went up in smoke as he
reeled in a mallard duck.
Fog so thick that fish can swim in it !!!
I’ve heard it all!!! Fishermen have finally broken the final barrier of sound!
Armed with the latest listening device Jack Rex (local fishing legend)
has been eavesdropping on the fishery of Lake Grapevine.
After signing a contract with Dallas record label, Jack will be
releasing a CD titled “ I heard it through the Grapevine.”
The CD will feature bass singing hits like,
“Those were the dace my friends” and,
“Breams 5th Symphony.”
Local Union C.A.R.P. (Cold-blooded, Aquatic, Reptile, Perch )
went on strike today. Union members were outraged
after reading a headline of an editorial in the
local newspaper, “Support your local Hookers.”
The Sunfish were cloudy on the issue. Tackle stores claim victory in sales figures!
The new lure introduced by “Gotcha Bait Co.”
landed big sales for retailers. The new lure
“stic-ya good” features adhesives that instantly
bond as the fish bites it. Anglers were also caught
up in the action when handling the lures released
the adhesives. The release agent will be on the market
later in the month. Retailers are forecasting profits.
A fisherman was stranded for three days on frozen Lake
Michigan last month. Reportedly surviving the cold in
a unique way. Piling the frozen fish into walls and building a shelter.
The fisherman stated that, “The fishing has never been better!
Thank God I had enough bait and love Sushi.”
Skunks flock to local tackle shop after
shop owner drops a case of “Freddies’ Fruit
of the Flume” stink bait for catfish. Tradesman
let them eat their fill from a distance.
New fad hits the hits “Craz-iod” button in the world of fashion.
Trendy statements made by youngster wearing
plugs and lures in their lips, ear lobes and septum.
Tackle manufacturers have to add warning label
informing consumers of dangers of swimming
with this fashionable jewelry.
Epidemic hits local lakes. Chiropractors report
a new injury called “Flat Rock Syndrome" which affects the lower back.
“Flat Rock Syndrome” is caused by flying across
a windy lake in a bass boat over big waves. The name
comes from skipping a flat rock on the water and
if you’ve been on a high speed bass boat zipping over large waves
you have experienced the effect.