Talking Water Bottles

Until now, I never revealed to anyone that I was one of these rare people who could walk down the aisle of a grocery store and detect what the water bottles were saying to each other. It was just before Super Storm Sandy, 20 others and myself were converging on the bottled water aisle in Stop & Shop. As you can imagine this aisle was mobbed. The one gallon bottles were stunned by the crowds. The group most amazed was the store brand gallon bottles. Many people snub this humble brand of water. But not the day I was in the store. The bottles were nervous and joyous. Nervous because they had never seen such a crowd and one that seemed intent on grabbing two bottles in each hand even if this action would mean hitting someone nearby. Some were nervous about a fight breaking out as customers became more fearful of water shortages. Of course some were joyous because it is basically boring to stand perfectly in line day after day while most buyers handed straight for the bottles with brand names as if they tasted better. One bottle recalled a story about the Fiji brand of water. The bottles for this brand of water were made in the United States and then transported to Fiji where they were filled and then brought back to the U.S. on freighters. Of course they cost way more per ounce but some buyers feel they deserve the” best water”. Of course most of the bottles of Stop & Shop water thought this was a rumor while others argued the Fiji story was true which it is. Not every bottle was grabbed from the shelf even when the weather reports became more ominous and losing the ability to get clean water from the tap, days, became more of a possibility. Some bottles were relieved that their neighbors had been grabbed and there was more room on the shelf for them. You can only imagine how tedious it is to stand quietly in line or risk the wrath of the employee who shelves the bottle of water. The bottles suddenly got very quiet as news began to circulate about another onslaught of panicking shoppers knowing that another nor’easter was coming to New England. If the weather is decent, I intend to head back to the Stop & Shop, walk down to aisle where the bottled water is on display and see if I can hear any more tales.